home

I have been traveling for several days and returned home today. For most folks this may be a refreshing experience, but it is challenging for me. I'm one of the many who care for an aging or ill parent.

After my mother's stroke, we agreed that sharing a house would be the most sensible way to co-exist.It is logical:our 3500 square foot house is more than big enough for two people.However, it is not large enough for myguilt and resentment.

I adore my mother. Yet, when I walk in from four days on the road, followed by a tedious day at work, I want some silence. She, on the other hand, has been home alone (with the exception of a short visit from her male friend) and wants to chat. She's excited and I'm exhausted - and a bit snappy. How can I get frustrated with her. Like any of us, she is lonely. She has 6 kids, 14 grandkids and a quiver full of great grand kids. She attended church every time the door opened until she could no longer drive. Where is everyone? Are folks so consumed that they cannot pick up the phone and call a lonely old lady? I know, I could ask for help. But, I don't. Instead I have little patience with the one person who has no control over this situation: moma.

If you are still reading, pick up the phone and call a lonely elder - they and their primary listener- will be grateful.

Breaking the Silence

It has been months since I have written and my faithful reader(s) are probably wondering why. It is one thing to put your intimate thoughts and inner dialogue on the internet when no one else is involved. However, someone else is involved now. A few months ago I met the most wonderful woman. We began dating immediately and are fostering a life long relationship. I forget that we do not look like every couple at church and even at the local coffee shop. However, she teaches middle school and so we have chosen not to be reckless in our "outness." So, I have been absent from this blog.

Yesterday, I heard a sermon on god's presence in the absurd - that Sarah laughed at the ridiculousness of god's promise and god's grace was still poured out. I'm familiar with that. My relationship may seem absurd to many, but I now more aware of god's presence than I have been in years.

So, in that vein, I'm writing again. Let the absurdity continue...