Sunday, July 20, 2008

Reimagining Family

What a week. Last weekend was amazing - fun, romance, friends, family, and naps. Life doesn't get much better than that. But, life changes quickly. My partner called mid-day Monday and said, "Can you talk?". Her tone was somber and shaken. The words that followed were equally so. Her little sister was five months pregnant and had been to the doctor that morning. The baby's little heart had stopped.

The rest of the week filled with travel plans, hospital stays, emotion-filled moments, and grief. Not so many days ago, we learned that my partner's sister and brother-in-law were having a girl and we learned her name. Christmas stockings were stitched, blankets quilted, and little girl clothes purchased. On Wednesday evening, she was born. Her dad says, "She weighed 1 lb. 10 oz., was 12" long, and was beautiful. She had the smallest fingers and toes! We agree that her face kind of looked like mine. We both held her, talked to her, and said goodbye."

For me, it has been a significant week on my journey. I am affected deeply by this death. I did not know how deeply I would be touched. The family has treated me as one of their own and I have had the privilege of sharing this part of the journey with them. I have experienced a different approach to family. My family of origin does grief boldly - we are loud and even explosive with our grief. I am grateful for both approaches.

Today, I am especially grateful for this family and their method of grieving:
We sat. We cried. We laughed. We ate. We ate again. But mainly, we have simply been together.