Confessions of Political Junkie

I confess. I am a political junkie. Last night’s Democratic Convention had me glued to the TV like a football fan on Super Bowl Sunday. I turned the television to PBS, poured a glass of iced tea, and fed the political wannabe that lives deep within me.

The night started warm and fuzzy with everyday folks testifying to their belief in Barrack Obama. I was especially enamored with the home health worker who spent the day with Obama. She was poised and dressed for the occasion, but she never looked up. She read the teleprompter with sincerity and walked off stage with humility. I wonder if she was able to absorb the magnitude of the moment.

Duvall Patrick touched me with his personal journey. The senator from Pennsylvania acknowledged that we can have key differences and yet work together for the future of this nation. For a few moments, I thought, Wow, Mark Warner is good.

However, I have almost forgotten his speech, minus the chant “four more months.” With baited breathe, I waited for her… and I was not disappointed. I have been a Hillary Clinton admirer for years, a card carrying member of the Democratic Party, a proud southerner, a closet feminist, and a not-so-scary lesbian. I value justice, hope, grace, perseverance, honesty, and second chances. I am aware the path that I often stroll down was paved with the (often trampled) hopes and dreams and hard work of another generation. While Hillary is far from aged, she is part of the generation that carved the way that lets me publish such posts as this.

The generations and other dichotomies divide us more than they unite us. But last night, I believed that we are better together – all of us: young, old, male, female, gay, straight, rich, poor, yankee, southerner, white, black, brown, or otherwise. I laughed and cried – during a DNC speech!!! I was excited and affirmed, yet I still carry an ounce of grief that Hillary Clinton will not be our next president.

In the hours that have passed since, “the greatest speech I ever witnessed”, I find myself clothed in something close to patriotism, something close to hope, something that renews my faith that my generation will create a path that our children will be proud of – a path of unity, a path of equality, a path of freedom, and a path lined with equal pay for equal work, universal health care, and secure retirement.

So, thank you, Senator Clinton for speaking directly, regally, and respectfully to each of us. We know that loosing sucks – for you and for those of us who believe in your leadership. However, your professionalism and focus reminds that you will lead from the Senate as powerfully as you lead from the campaign trail.

Living in the Cloud

This afternoon a NPR snipet on living in the cloud caught my ear. For those you who do not know this phrase, living in the cloud is the techie term for storing information in cyberspace rather than on a hard drive. Examples include storing photos or documents on google or flickr as well as hosting journals and info on facebook. I was a bit disappointed. I think of living in the cloud as a carefree, no-strings-attached way to approach life. But, without even knowing it, I having been living in the cloud for years. Somehow I doubt that I haven taken full advantage of the view.

How much living can one actually do in the cloud? Granted, you can share information and perhaps make a new friend. However, one can also hide from people, withdraw, or create a second (or third) persona. For me, this venue is an opportunity to be honest with my self and with others. I tend to like to be everyone's favorite friend, sister, co-worker, aunt,or lover. Putting my thoughts in the cloud allows me to test drive them. I get feed back from the comments on my blog or from "I can't believe you posted that" emails. When I see folks face to face, they already know the 'scary stuff' and I can skip the 'how will they react' head drama. Is this the best way to approach relationship? I doubt it, but how would I know, I have had my head in the cloud for years.

Most of you who know me in the real world, know that I can soak up every ounce of vigor that life offers. So, maybe my feet remain on the ground while my overly cerebral head lives in the cloud.

Borderlands

"Deepest communion with God is beyond words, on the other side of silence."
- Madeleine L'Engle

"By 'minister' I mean any person who lives in the dangerous, exhilarating, life-giving borderlands of human existence, where the everyday experience of life opens up to reveal glimpses of the HOLY -- and not only lives there but comes to the aid of others who are living there."
- L. William Countryman

These are quotes that I saw on friend's facebook page. They bring up two topics that intrigue me: silence and revealing the holy.

In the past few weeks, I have been more out about my sexuality and upcoming wedding. This has fostered wonderful dialogue with my friends who see this aspect of my life as unholy (actually, sinful). In these rare moments, I do not have the words to outline an argument on the theology surrounding the sinful or sinless nature of homosexuality. Instead I return to a lesson that I learned as a summer missionary -- share the gospel according to insert your name here.

This approach works something like this ..."All I know is... I once was blank and now blank" This generates from the New Testament story of a blind man that Jesus healed. The establishment asked him a laundry list of questions about the man that healed him. The healed man's response was pointed , "All I know is that I once was blind but now I see."

For most of us, healing moments are less than common. However, somewhere in the silence of communing with god, and in the borderlands of our human existence, we get may glimpse the Holy. And that glimpse changes us.

All I know is that I was once blind, but now I see.
All I know is that I was once lonely, but now I'm not.
All I know is that I was once restless, but now I'm assured.
All I know is that I once saw life as futile, but now I have purpose.
All I know us that I once new about love as an abstract theory, now I know love as an integral part of life.
All I know is that I once knew everything, but now I know nothing.
All I know is that I am better as a part of a holy relationship than when I was alone.

All I know is that god is god, and that I am not. I have been relieved of my duties as keeper of the universe. I am called to love god and love others and through that I get to glimpse the holy in the borderlands of this thing called life.

May you too spend some time in the borderland and experience god's presence there.

Rarely, am I enamored with poetry (or movies). However, yesterday I watched "In Her Shoes" and was deeply moved by the ee cummings poem below. I suppose it my current stage in life that opened me to hearing such art on a new level.


i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings